Sonnet in which the Polar Vortex is Barely Mentioned
(Original Version)
It's an old familiar song
early morning after a thaw –
the sky scoured to high gloss,
my shadow legs snicking open closed
through puddles. As day resolves
from smoky chords, I’ve almost forgotten
how the wind raged, how you twitched
beside me from one dream to the next.
In the garden, four wicker chairs
are tipped back around a table
as if ghostly stragglers are stretching
before another hand of five card draw,
long past last call but afraid
to gather their coats and go.
© Yoni Hammer-Kossoy 2019
Polar What Did They Call It?
(Re(En)Visioned)
Silence on an early walk,
scoured sky, shadow legs snick
through puddles. Do you remember dreams
of smoky chords, how we shivered nights,
how we said it was the worst?
Home again, four chairs on the porch.
It’s long past last call
and the ghosts are dealing another hand.
© Yoni Hammer-Kossoy 2020
Yoni Hammer-Kossoy’s poetry appears in numerous journals and anthologies, including most recently Right Hand Pointing, Lily Poetry Review, Juniper Poetry, Sky Island Journal and River Heron Review. Originally from the US, Yoni has lived in Israel with his family for the last twenty years. Catch up with Yoni on Twitter @whichofawind.
30 for 30 is sponsored by Potomac Review
Wow! Wonderful language
Wow is right! Way to go Yoni! This brings to me what my mind expects poetry to be like. I loved the way you drew the picture – just beautiful. You painted a Gorgeous picture in the first poem, which I preferred to the second. My husband preferred the second poem better and for all the same reasons that I liked first better, he liked 2nd better. I love your use of words to create a beautiful picture. It really worked my imagination.
an interesting challenge. In your example, I much preferred the re(en) version which flowed beautifully…it was clean and simple